Yesterday (01-16-08) I watched Fog City Mavericks, a documentary that chronicles the careers of those top-tier directors who call San Francisco both home and headquarters. At one point, director George Lucas explains how some Hollywood executives were snickering and scoffing about the upcoming premiere of his movie, Star Wars. They were convinced that it would be a total flop. Not too much surprises me anymore, but that statement surprised the heck out of me. Two months before Star Wars' national premiere and almost four months before I saw it myself (when I was only 16 years old), even I was convinced that it was going to be a major hit; or, in hindsight, it would be no worse than the garbage Hollywood had been producing for decades. I also remembered the night of its premiere here in this small western Nebraska city and wondered just how clueless a person has to be to get into a position of authority in Hollywood (or in any hierarchy in the United States).
Details
I first read about the still top-secret movie, Star Wars, in Starlog Magazine on April 1, 1977 (give or take a few days). That was roughly two months before it premiered nationwide. The article is very brief and provides no plot outline of any sort. In fact, it gives only a couple of very trivial details and even manages to get one of them wrong.* The writer concludes by hinting that this movie will be a very unique and exciting experience. Only two preproduction paintings of scenes from the movie accompany the article because no photos were allowed off the movie set at that time (or so I remember). The secrecy surrounding Star Wars made it seem every bit as promising as Starlog was making it out to be. I had a feeling this wasn't just the usual hype and that it really was going to be quite impressive. I couldn't wait to see it. A full-featured article on Star Wars appeared in the next edition of Starlog, shortly after the movie opened nationwide but before I had yet seen it. It only confirmed my feelings and intensified my desire to see it.
Opening Night in Western Nebraska
Star Wars premiered nationally on May 25, 1977. It premiered locally on July 20, 1977. I was determined to go to the first show on the first night. My mom, who had worked in a movie theater as a teenager, thought that was a foolish idea because opening nights are usually really crowded. I knew she was right, but I didn't care. I wanted to see the local premiere just to say I had been there (for posterity). Besides, I had already waited long enough. I wasn't about to wait another day (nor even another two and a half hours).
To play it safe, I asked her to drive me to the theater really early because I wanted to be as close to the front of the line as possible. When the theater came into view, I could see that no one was in line yet. In fact, there wasn't a single soul on the sidewalk because the ticket window hadn't opened yet. I was thrilled. I had beaten the crowd.
However, my mom, as is true of most moms, had a completely different set of priorities. She wanted to find a parking spot before letting me out. She clearly didn't grasp the urgency of the situation. She thought I would be better off sitting in the car with her while waiting for the ticket window to open (even though she wasn't going to the movie). I strongly disagreed. I told her I wanted to stand right in front of the ticket window right now, so as not take any chances. I asked her to let me out right in the middle of Main Street so I could be first in line. She ignored me and turned at the next corner to go around the block. I pleaded with her to let me out before we got too much further away, but she continued driving. I was very frustrated and complained the whole way. Didn't she realize she was tempting fate? Bad timing had (has) always been one of my biggest curses.
Quite literally, it took her no longer than 45 seconds to drive around the block (thanks to having all right turns). Naturally, by the time we returned to front of the theater, my premonition had come true. The ticket window had opened, and a line had formed.
But this wasn't just any normal line. Nooo..., this line stretched all the way around the stinking block! The same stinking block around which we had just driven!**
And the line was still growing! Aaaaarrrrggggghhhhhh!!!!!!
Where on earth had all those people come from so quickly? Every parked car within a block of the theater must have contained people waiting for the ticket window to open.
Of course, this was how my luck usually went, but I definitely hadn't imagined that such a long line would have -- or could have -- formed in less than 45 seconds! I'm sure I gave my mom a major earful as I hopped out of the car without waiting for her permission this time. I walked around the corner, feeling completely cheated, and took my place at the end of that long line.
My frustration had been unfounded. Much to my surprise and pleasure, the line moved very quickly, and I was inside the theater in no time.
Conclusion
As we all know, in the opening scene of Star Wars, an impossibly massive ship floats past the camera, followed by an even more impossibly massive ship. The entire audience roared along with me at the sheer scale of it all. In that instant, my four months of high expectations shrank to nothingness compared to what was actually taking place on the screen.
All of this is why yesterday (11,137 days after the local premiere of Star Wars), I asked, just how clueless does a person have to be to become a Hollywood executive?
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*The author of the Starlog article mentions that there is a planet-sized ship in the movie called the Death Star. He also mentions a mysterious element called "the Force," but he mistakenly calls it "the power."
**Stinking was one of my favorite words when I was 16.
