I feel as if I have been completely unable to get on with my life for the past [certain period of time]. If I were to reveal to my friends all the "excellent" reasons why this is so, most of them would not approve. That is because most people have old-fashioned views about how life should be lived. However, it might also be that their disapproval would partially be my fault, because I'm sure I would fail to describe those "excellent" reasons adequately. They all make perfect sense to me; but a lifetime of experience has proven to me that I do a terrible job of explaining things, even things that make perfect sense (except in writing, but even that won't suffice this time); so I have had no desire even to try. Letting everyone wonder is better than explaining poorly.
Of course, it's possible that some of my reasons for remaining stuck here are bad ones, and I am stubbornly clinging to them anyway. I sometimes worry that this might be the case. This, then, could be the real reason that I have chosen to remain silent -- and simply let everyone think that I've switched from being a dedicated workaholic to being a reclusive hermit.
It could also be that this is the "most stuck" I've ever felt, and I cannot stand the thought of admitting it to anyone.
I am a patient person, though (when it comes to personal matters), so I haven't lost hope yet.
Why haven't I lost hope? Because patience has almost always paid off for me before. Many times in the past, my friends and family were critical of my methodology when it came to finding a new job. Every one of those times, I eventually proved them wrong by securing far better or higher-paying employment than they could ever have imagined. They had been trying to make me to settle for just anything, while I was willing to wait for the "perfect" job.
[Very Vague Note: I now desperately wish I had listened to them the last time and not waited for that higher-paying job (in other words, my most recent job), because my resulting large savings account is now one of the reasons that I have been unable to "get on with my life." I would have been much better off (and much happier) with no savings at all. I would explain the situation, but the topic is still too bothersome to dwell on (it involves neither an ex-wife -- I have no ex-wife -- nor an ex-girlfriend.]
Ironically, my two "most perfect jobs," the ones I probably would have kept for a long time (maybe even forever), were facing the budget axe when I arrived (one of which was that high-paying job mentioned above). If I had known that little detail in advance, I would never have applied for them. As you can guess, both of those positions were eventually eliminated. That's why I am free to be here now, writing anonymously to the world.
In spite of everything I have just written, I am not immune to self-doubt. When given enough time, people's opinions start to rub off on me. I am now starting to lose patience with my present circumstances. Of course, this impatience may simply be a sign that I am finally ready to "get on with my life."
BUT THEN... those "excellent" reasons step in front of me and freeze me in my tracks again.
Sigh...
